9Monday, June 12, 2006

Stranger in Moscow - Michael Jackson

Haha. I woke up after noon again for the third time straight this week ... or was it 4 ... or 5 o.o ... but you get the point. After the common test week, my biological clock seems to have altered my sleeping pattern. I only get drowsy after 2 or 3 .. heh ...

Well, at least I dun have to face the problem of lethargy in the afternoon. Usually you'll see me faced plopped on my lunch, on the table, on the floor, today, I'm brimming with energy, dunno how I am going to channel the sudden outburst. Haha. My dad's been nagging at me to sleep early, saying that I won't be able to grow taller, etc. -.- I just nod back at him. Haha.

The sun was out today. Missed him lots lol, but my area still had a smattering of clouds too. I went to take a dip. Really refreshing !! Haha, but I think my trunks broke -.- I need to replace my trunks or I can forget about swimming le. Anyone want to buy me one? Lol. Went home and Dixon called, discussed about projects and stuff. Really still have a whole chunk that I need to do before our group project meeting this friday. I took a quick shower and started on PLB & MFS. I managed to gather alot of resources so I was quite contented. After that, my mom wanted to go to the gym so I accompanied her there. After the gym, I went back, had a late lunch and then went back to my work.

I plan to start my type out tomorrow. Today is plainly research. Oh, I managed to add a radio blog to my baby blog. Haha. It really took me more than an hour. There were alot of complications with the radio blog and so I went directly to the HTML codings and did a major plastic surgery, taking codes apart and adding new codes so that I could proudly display it on my blog front and for all of you guys to listen !!

Don't try that at home. Only for the pros =) *chuckles*

Oh, the clip above is from Michael Jackson's Stranger in Moscow. I really love this song alot. MJ wrote this song while he was on tour in Moscow. Even though he had an army of fans cheering for him, he still felt lonely, felt abandoned. The feeling was bitter cold, he felt like a stranger, a stranger in a crowd. Sometimes, even though I have many friends and a great family by my side, I still feel like a stranger to the world. You feel that no one seems to understand you, even you yourself can't even comprehend your own thoughts and emotions. Everything is bizzare to you and you seek desperately for answers, answers you wish you had but you could not unearth at all. The feeling is just dreadul.

Those are moments when I feel like being alone, to be undisturbed, left in peace by the outside world. Time stops abrubtly and the only person who exists in this world is me. People always ask me why I distant myself from others, they think I'm dao, they think I'm unfriendly, cold, unsociable, you name it! I'm NOT! Sometimes I like my own privacy, that's all and time to reflect on myself. I want to be alone and I really wish people can respect that fact. I'm not a superhuman, I can't always smile, I can be there for you, but not all the time. I am human too after all. I have emotions too. I just like to hide in my shell time after time. I find that my comfort zone. Yes, we have to leave our comfort zone and explore new boundaries and challenge obstacles, but then again, we always have to go back to our little shell one way or another, to a safe haven that you call home.

But, haha, don't get me wrong, I may have my introvert characteristics, and when I'm down and want to be alone, I'll shut myself out to the world, but when I'm sunny, I can be really cheerful raining my smiles wherever I go, of course you'll think that I'm a mad twit. Heh. I know, I'm certainly volatile, but not contradictary ><

Whatever it is, don't misunderstand me. I am a person who likes to mingle with my friends. I enjoy their company but sometimes my actions may tend to be questionable at times like as if you seem to know me but then again you don't, but rest assured, really, if you are willing to be my friend, I promise that I will be as good a friend to you too. My reclusive and cloistered character is but just a minor flaw in me. I am learning to fight this flaw but it takes time and to my friends who have finally understood me, I thank you very much. I really do. You guys are everything to me and I love you guys very much.

So, in a nutshell (no pun intended), the day just went by idly. I spent most of the day on the com doing work (project and blog)

Anyways, look at the time. It's so bloody late and therefore I shall end my post right here. Period.

Good night everyone. May you have an enjoyable wednesday and may the sun come out to play too =)
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