9Monday, November 26, 2007

I've been communicating with my parents a lot lately. I feel so happy that that we're able to bolt down barriers and be honest with ourselves. It's usually very hard for kids and their parents to have frank talks. We always disagree with almost everything.

It's been hard for me to open up to my mom and dad but when i did it eventually, i felt so much better. I know some of us take our parents for granted, and frankly i know some of you guys don't really have a positive relationship with their parents, perhaps due to a falling out.

What i've learned in life is that your parents or perhaps your family is the most important thing that you can have in this world. Of course, to me, friends come a close second. For those who are lucky enough to have intact families, the more you should be able to communicate with your loved ones because i have so many friends who do not have a father, a mother, and some, no parents at all.

I've always had a good relationship with my mother. She's sort of become a friend to me over the years. I tell her everything and she always listens to what i have to say before she gives an opinion. I guess most of the guys from my generation still have parents who are traditional in their values and mentality. Children will always be children, our more conservative parents won't ever understand us and will never be able to come to an agreement with their sometimes more liberal children.

I guess it takes a little effort to make that connection. I used to didn't bother. Ever since i started to become a teenager, i stopped communicating with my mother, and only come to her when i really need her or to collect my allowance. It's sad and i guess my mom could also feel that I was distancing from her.

But then, it just happened. All the guilt finally came rushing back into me when my mom broke down one day. I didn't know what happened until i realized that she had been suffering from depression for quite sometime and it just dawned on me that i was simply taking my mother for granted; i didn't even know she was ill. And, that was when i begun to try and find out more about my mother, her life, like as if i'm getting acquainted with a stranger. It was rather awkward at first but i finally found a friend in my mother.

I stood by her during her turmoil. I accompanied her to psychiatric appointments and just talked to her whenever i could. I would check up on her and see how she fared once in a while. I was so glad that she was getting better and I could see a more radiant face compared to a sullen one before. I felt great too.

After that was over, my mom started to get her life back. You know, my mom gave up her job when i was born and became a full-time mother. She forsook her very own career to secure the future for her children and i never knew that until recently, for that i am grateful to my mom. Today, she's a high flyer, a partner to Singapore's top fashion designer, helping my dad in running the family business, being a faithful wife and mother and still having time to make her own jewelry. I really respect my mother.

My dad, he's always been the authoritative figure in the house. I still remember getting whacked by the rottan from him when I was still young. Memories. I was never close to my dad to begin with. I always saw him as a tyrant! He would also scold me until I got used to it. Haha. It was of course, much later in life I knew he was doing it for my very own good. Haha, so cliché.

I know my dad loves me very much. No matter how much he chides me, he’ll always reason with me and tell why I’m wrong and I learn from all my mistakes. I never regret having long talking sessions with my dad, although, ha-ha, he’s sometimes rather long-winded!

Oh, just recently, I found out a lighter side to my father. All along I never saw my dad smile or laugh, other than for the camera. He’s exactly like me, with a serious persona. Haha. But just in recent times, I began to start communicating with my dad and I saw various types of emotions from my dad that I could never possibly imagine. It amazed me. Anyway, my dad has become considerably closer to his two sons.

My dad’s a firm, fair and brilliant person, yet, like everyone who has a hard exterior, he has a soft side to him too. He likes to joke about everything and he’s always so light-hearted with his friends and when it comes to work, he is decisive and work means work. My dad's the CEO of a major conglomerate and with a business that involves exorbitant amounts of money, it isn't very easy to manage because there are so many things to consider. Leading the business, understanding the employees, pleasing the shareholders and managing the operations. I’ve seen him make many difficult decisions in life and yet, he still pulls through.

So, what’s the most important thing I’ve learnt from my parents? Well, for me, I learnt three things, and that is to be humble, compassionate and ever so persevering. I’ve learned that since I was very young. What you have, don’t flaunt it. I never believe in showing off what I have to people. You’ll just get a lot of flak. Haha. My family has always been low-profile and it’s great. Sometimes, when you’re in the limelight, life isn’t very easy. Everyone’s picking on you every single minute.

Being appreciative in this world is important. So many people are lacking of appreciation that it hardly comes by. Easily said, i learnt about compassion. How you treat people, it has to be genuine and it must come from the heart. It's the most difficult thing to achieve because youcan't learn it, you have to feel it.

Perseverance. I don't have to explain i guess. Everyone knows what it means. Just never say die, simply. Don't ever give up, because life's too short for you to do that.

The values that your parents impart to you are life-long skills that come from many years of experience. Live by them and if you don’t agree, just keep them somewhere in your brain. Haha
So, why don’t you start communicating with your parents more once in a while? Have breakfast with them in the morning, try to have occasional family dinners or perhaps find sometime to just sit down, have a cup of cocoa and just chat with your mom or dad at night instead of going back into your room.

You’ll realize at the end of the day that you’ll be coming home everyday to a much more warmer and comforting home. I love my family and nothing can steal that happiness away from me.
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